Troomi is hands down the BEST kiddo phone option on the market right now. Facts: the customer service is comparable to no other. You are going to be so bummed to talk to literally any other customer service department after contacting theirs (which you may never need to do, everything is managed with user friendly ease, more on that later!. Shoutout to my girl Sarah in customer service for providing absolutely STUNNING service and ensuring that I will be a Troomi customer/advocate for life. I had a broken phone and without getting into the nitty gritty suffice it to say that she bent over backwards to keep me on as a customer without needing to pause service in a way I wish I could award a sixth star to. Oh, and the warranty is totally worth it, in case you were wondering, HA! Kids will break the unbreakable, as if by sorcery.

MORE FACTS: PREPARE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE PARENT PORTAL SWEET BABIES ALIVE DO I LOVE THE PORTAL. And you will, too, whatever your reason is. Full disclosure, I am not one to peep in on my kid's business, but I don't judge how anyone else parents so I will say in honesty that it gives you full immediate control of your kid's phone to keep them safe from the many scary ills of the internet. You can customize what apps they can use, what sites they can visit, and you can see their messages, who they are calling and when, and you can even set it so that it detects and filters certain word or phrase patterns that are unsafe. I will say that without even trying to use that feature, it ACCURATELY detected that in my kid's group chat, some rotten kids were planning to assault another girl. Now, my kid is a good egg and told me independently.....minutes after the programming detected it and sent me an e-mail about it. SUPER IMPRESSED. If my kid was heading down a bad path, it would have possibly prevented a realllllllly bad outcome. Can you put a price on that kind of safety?

OH, WHAT, YES YOU YOU CAN, AND IT'S AN INCREDIBLY MODESTLY PRICED MONTH TO MONTH OPTION YOU CAN CANCEL AT ANY TIME?! It's as cheap as the cheapest big corporate competitors' cheapest options, except they don't have this wondrous Parent Portal that also has INSANELY ACCURATE GPS TRACKING *air horns*. You read that right. The phone's tracker is so accurate, TRUE STORY, my kid dropped it in a snow mound in the middle of winter in an unplowed parking lot. I thought, my goodness, there goes the phone. I was so sad.....until I remembered the GPS. And the map you track it with was so easy to read and accurate that I found it in five minutes. I can not stress how much of a needle that was in a haystack. I never would have found it without the app. But think of the added safety layer having something so accurate that you can easily get into from your phone or desktop! You don't have to buy a 500 dollar iPhone that breaks if you breathe hard on it and pay a monthly bill of 200 bucks plus indentured servitude or whatever Verizon and AT&T and T-Mobile are charging these days in order to have that level of tracking and responsiveness.

Plus the customer service, as I mentioned. Oh, man. You get all of this for a super low price. And they have a referral program. And when I say this, I truly mean this: nothing hidden or nefarious is at work here, no aces up their sleeves, no insidious fine print, it's pretty what-you-see-is-what-you-get and I reckon it's because it feels like a smaller, family focused run venture for now. Lucky me! And lucky you, if you get this phone and Sarah's gentle, kind, generous customer service. Okay, or anyone in customer service. Or the nice phone. The hundreds of customizable permutations.

Google is giving me the gong. In closing:

GET A TROOMI PHONE WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!